Free BDSM Dating Sites & Fetish, Top Kinky Dating Apps

Not everyone understands BDSM. However, those who do understand it are able to find the perfect balance between true love and pure lust.

You can “play” with your partner and feel a strong emotional connection. Some even call it a blissful, out-of-this world climax.

Free Adult Dating Sites and Sex Hookup Apps

  1. Adult Friend Finder (Sex Dating Site)
  2. Alt.com
  3. Out Personals (Gay Dating)
  4. Ashley Madison ( Married Hookup and Affair Dating )
  5. Passion
  6. No String Attached
  7. Cams (Adult Chatting Online)
  8. Horny Wife (Meet Women)
  9. Swap Finder
  10. EZ Dating

But which best fetish websites or BDSM websites out there?

This article will discuss the best BDSM fetish-dating sites and provide an overview of the lifestyle and community.

Grab your collar, and handcuffs!

Top 14 Kinky Dating Apps and Sites for BDSM Singles

First Look

  1. Best BDSM dating site – Adult Friend Finder
  2. Fetlife allows you to meet sexy people quickly – Fetlife
  3. Alt.com – Good for traveling kinksters
  4. Discreet married dating site – Ashley Madison
  5. Good for kink beginners – BDSM.com
  6. Searching for sub/dom sugar baby relationships
  7. Fetish-themed social network – Fetish.com
  8. Polyamorous society – Fantasy Match
  9. Friendly fetish community. – Whiplr
  10. BDSM Dating App – KinkD
  11. Low numbers of fake profiles – Kinkoo
  12. Extreme fetishes – Fetster
  13. Reddit BDSM Personals are 100% Free – r/BDSMpersonals
  14. Find kinky people via erotica – Literotica

1. Adult Friend Finder – The Best Overall BDSM Dating Site

Adult Friend Finder was chosen as our #1 choice, because it provides the largest fetish community. You can also search for a wide range of sexual niches via its forum option.

A social media feature allows you to post about your experiences and kinks.

Adult Friend Finder is one of the most popular kink websites. This is a huge advantage when dealing with the BDSM lifestyle. You don’t want to be the lone wolf.

Video chat, swingers and threesomes, and LGBTQ+ friendliness are all part of the winning mix.

Pros

  • A vibrant kink group
  • Video chat with professionals and amateurs
  • Forums and fetish group standing by
  • LGBTQ+ and Swingers
  • Members pay a high membership fee

2. Fetlife is the best free site to meet kitty people

Fetlife, the most popular dating site for kinksters or like-minded people, is Fetlife.

This site provides free chat and video. It also has an simple social networking layout which allows you to search for kinks or add friends.

FetLife is not the only site like it.

Fetlife has also recently launched a mobile FetLife application that offers notifications, messaging and location-based services. Nice!

Pros

  • Search by fetish and location or personal ads
  • FetLife PC and mobile apps
  • Get a free membership
  • Free membership with no videos
  • Privately trading photos is not an easy task

3. Alt.com – Best BDSM & Fetish Sites for Travelers

Alt.com is a large BDSM dating site community. Alt.com allows photo trading, fetish and swing dating, as well as members cameras. Start looking for your kink with other members on Alt.

It’s easy to use.

Alt.com provides amateur chat, experienced doms, and dommes all for the complete BDSM experience. You can also broaden your search to include countries around the globe and meet like-minded kinksters.

Pros

  • SPAM gets thrown out by moderators
  • Camera fun, dating & fetish search
  • Search for gay, straight, trans or couples
  • Previews available for a very limited period
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4. Ashley Madison – Most Discreet Fetish Dating Site

Ashley Madison is not a fetish website. However, it is the most private place you can find on the web for a marriage affair.

You can do a search for a particular type of kink or search nearby to see who is nearby and what their favorite local kinks are.

The site does not offer kink matchmaking, but it’s a good way to have a sexual conversation with someone new.

Pros

  • Very private and discrete
  • You can blur or mask your photos
  • Be sure to mention your fetishes in your profile
  • Not BDSM specific, no forums

5. BDSM.com – Best for Newcomers Interested at BDSM

BDSM.com, a sex website for fetishists, has more than 900,000.

There are over 340 groups here that focus on unique kinks like FemDom.

Let’s just be honest, there are plenty of kinky boys and girls.

You can also create your own group to view more than 250,000 videos from other members. It is worth it!

Pros

  • 340 fetish groups
  • 990,000 members
  • As an individual, couple, and/or group, you can join
  • A good matching process
  • Very limited preview

6. Seeking – Best Online Dating App for Wealthy Kinksters

Seeking.com isn’t a kink-matching site by design. But it caters primarily to one niche: the sugar daddy spoiling his sugarbaby.

Ideally, you will need to have some money.

A sugar dynamic can often turn into dom/sub/master/slave kinks especially with Fifty Shades of Grey.

Pros

  • Ratio of 4-1 female to male
  • Sugar momma or sugar daddy looking
  • Look for someone who is successful, or just eye-candy.
  • Only the wealthy can apply

7. Fetish.com – Best Social Networking & Kink Dating Site

Fetish.com serves as more than a site. It is a gateway to the larger BDSM community. Fetish.com is a website that provides maps to local MUNCHES. These are meetup groups that are suitable for all ages.

It is free to join and you can access forums, chat, or take your search virtually anywhere in the globe. It offers a mix of dating/matching and community.

Pros

  • Fetish matching & searching
  • Read, write and share
  • Munch events in a wonderful location
  • A male-centric site that has a higher male population

8. Fantasy Match – Best Poly Online Community

The Fantasy App, which is not to been confused with Fantasy.com., is an app for open and polyamorous marriages.

It’s not necessary to ask about marital status. But you can be sure that everyone here believes ethical dating, safety and reciprocity.

Pros

  • Open-minded, ethical and polydating
  • People are all about consent and comfort.
  • Conceived from a feminine perspective

Cons

  • It’s not a place for men-centric fantasies.

9. Whiplr: The Best Fetish and Kink Community

Whiplr boasts a large community, including 600,000 photographs, 1.2 million members and 50,000 chats.

This community has a wide range of fetishes available, including masters, slaves, cuckholders, masters and newcomers. It also hosts fetish events around the world.

Pros

  • Choose from 230 fetishes
  • Local matching
  • Fetish events to meet local kinksters

Cons

  • Very limited preview

10. KinkD is the Best Online Dating App for Sex-Positive Women

KinkD allows users to find kinksters or BDSM users and provides a social network.

No matter if you’re single, married, or just a casual user, you can join and post on walls, chat with other users, view stories and meet up. You can even follow the most active users.

You can find specific here. It could be threesomes, or even Christian BDSM.

Pros

  • Specific niches & worldwide matches
  • Active social networks
  • Follow the top users and see videos
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Cons

  • App only

11. Kinkoo: Fake profiles are least likely to be created

Kinkoo launched in 2017. It’s thriving with a vetted community who weed out spammers and fakes and match users using its own algorithm.

Nice.

Site users can also access education and kink feeds, which act as a icebreaker.

Pros

  • Get in touch via the kinkfeed to have conversations
  • Travel with people you know or meet them in the area
  • Matching algorithms are not limited to a classifieds site.

Cons

  • App only

12. Fetster – Most Open-Minded BDSM Communities

Fetster, a free kinkster site that can be used as both an online social network and meetup group, is available for download.

Extreme Fetishes are everywhere, from cuckolds and CBT to master-slave, rope play, suspension, deprecating and caging, spanking.

Start chatting with people you know, either locally or in your city. No premium membership is necessary.

If you don’t like the one you find, you can create your own group – this is an excellent feature that allows you to make fetishes and kinks.

Pros

  • Absolutely free website
  • Find your niche and start your own fetish groups
  • Meetups and Events
  • Blogs, forums and social network

Cons

  • A bit out of date and not very attractive.

13. Reddit BDSM Individuals – Best Free To Use Singles Site BDSM

Reddit is a great site to start with, as it’s both free and offers a relaxed way to place ads.

Fetish Reddit boasts 145,000 users and active subgroup moderation.

You can tag your ads by age and location. Reddit’s most popular feature? Reddit’s best feature? The ability to instantly change your personal ad into active chat.

Pros

  • 100% Free
  • It’s easy to post a specific addition
  • Moderated to eliminate spam

Cons

  • There are no other features than chat and an on-site email address

14. Literotica: Find Kinky People Through Erotica

Literotica is a dating site for sexting and an older website. Their layout has not been updated since the beginning of the 21st century.

The huge archive of erotica fiction is free and makes it a great place for kinksters to meet.

Pros

  • See the sexy stories written by kinksters
  • Chat live and anonymously
  • Chat with multiple kinksters online in live chat rooms

Cons

  • There are no chat features

BDSM Etiquette For Newbies – A Quick Guide

BDSM can be used to refer to a wide range of people who have specific sexual preferences or other non-sexual kinks.

Intense emotions will be experienced, similar to the love of a partner, but with a more varied view of relationships, commitment, and responsibility.

The BDSM can be summarized in four different ways:

  • Bondage– Restraining or restrainting someone else
  • Discipline– Consensually training someone obey you
  • Dominance & Submission– Roleplaying negotiation & power exchange
  • Masochism: The infliction and enjoyment of pain.

Start a Conversation With a BDSM Kinkster

First of all, no one wants to be in a relationship with a psychopath.

Remember that it’s all about having fun.

The best and most effective way to strike up a conversation with someone new is to speak like a normal person and in the language of your fellow kinksters.

It means being safe, sane and consensual. You don’t need to do any acting at all – you don’t have to impress or audition. Begin by being friendly and approachable, then you can explore any commonalities.

Are your Dom, Sub or Switch?

Sometimes sessions of play are called “scenes”, and require a Dom Sub or Switch. Websites will ask you if you are a Dom Sub or Switch. This means you want to be.

  • DOM– The one that gives pleasure/pain
  • Sub – One who is receiving pleasure/pain
  • SWITCH: One who can take on either role
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Contrary to popular belief, the Receiver/Sub is often the one who “directs the scene.”

The Doms will do everything they can to make the submissive feel comfortable so they continue to provide services. A successful negotiation increases trust, and partners can form close bonds after many sessions.

BDSM players are not fond of abusive or arrogant Doms. Bad Doms who don’t understand what they’re doing are often expelled from the scene.

When it comes to rules, trust can be difficult to keep. You don’t have to be able to invent things. Keep to the hard/soft limits in order to not make an enemy.

When someone mentions one of these phrases while discussing fantasies, be sure to pay attention.

  • Hard Limits
  • Soft Limits. The sub might be possible, but it will only happen according their level of comfort. Not yours.
  • Safe words: If a Sub gets scared and uses the safe word (something you both agreed upon before the scene occurs), it is a sign to stop. You should not resume until you are given permission.
  • Red and Yellow are not safe words. There may be levels to comfort. Red: Stop, Yellow, Green: Slow down and be careful. And Green: More and More!

How to join the BDSM dating community

The easiest way to join BDSM is not to make a dramatic scene. Instead, introduce yourself in the forum discussion, search for member posts or photos, and request to chat with or follow someone.

It’s not rocket science.

However, you should not be too pushy at first. It’s not necessary to find a date on the first night, or the first week after joining the community. Let’s just relax and get to understand each other.

Kink and Fetish dating FAQs

What should you do if someone asks you for money?

This is because certain financial transactions (i.e. While webcam work is legal (e.g., Domme or escorting companionship), there are others that are not.

Even “consensual money domination”, where money is sent to people who are unable to bear it, is legal.

But be cautious if you are offered to meet someone and do “anything for financial compensation.” Do not follow your instincts. Don’t get involved with anyone new who has no connection to the community.

Which are the most common mistakes made by men when joining Fetish dating sites?

Here are 7 of the biggest mistakes I see men making:

  1. Over-aggressiveness is a Dom
  2. Not being as annoying or boring as Sub
  3. Failure to respect the Dom’s rules
  4. Sexual comments made before there is enough trust
  5. It is important to ignore the soft and hard limits
  6. Only posting photos and nothing else.
  7. Having no niche or experience, but saying “I can provide anything you want!”

Must I sign a contract with a bondage dating site to date?

Signing a contract is encouraged, and not only a symbolic one.

A legal bondage contract is a way to show your partner you both respect each other’s boundaries and are ready to supervise the safety of your partner at any time.

The Best Paid BDSM Membership Site – AFF

Fetlife was close to becoming #1 but is still not Adult Friend Finder’s best. It lacks the variety, ease-of-use, and excitement of its social media interface.

Fetlife is still free to use, and there is a mobile app that can be very useful.

However, our research showed that AdultFriendFinder had both the largest community and the best selection of sexual niches.

Whichever site you use, make sure to be safe, respect the rules and have a great time.